Birthday letter to Daniel.

So far away.....
Here in Canada it is the eve of your birthday, but where you live, it is already your birthday.

31 years ago, I awoke to finding that my water had broken, and it was with such great excitment, to know, that today was the day, I was going to have a BABY! I remember calling the hospital and telling them I was NOT yet in labour but my water had broken. They told me if labour did not start within about 12 to 24 hours I would need to come in. I needed had worried because with two hours I was holding my tummy as pains swept over me, and you were well on the way. It was Easter Monday! April 16th 1979

Daddy was at home it being a goverment holiday, and we were both excited. I call Sandra Power, she and Lavina arrived to take Roxann. Around 11am I was ready to head to the Moncton hospital, you were 2 week early as my due date was April 3oth. I knew you were ready.
My experience with Roxann, was that it took all day for the labour pains to push a baby out. When I arrived at the hospital, and was settled into a room, Dad said that he needed to go have lunch. I remember not wanting him to leave me, as I felt like thing were close, but what did I know anyway!!?? I was only twenty years old and had birthed only one other baby....so I shook it all off and Dad went to lunch. After he left the room. I had a powerful contraction. I grooned my way through it. When it stopped, I took a deep breath of relief. It was very short lived. In seconds another powerful one overcame me. The little nurse whom came in my room after hearing my groon again, decidied to check me. The words I heard was...".We are having a baby in here...I need some help." Off I was whipped into the delivery room. (and in that day they were like operating rooms). I was begging for them to find your daddy. They were promising me the moon...anything to calm me down. My next memory was bearing down hard to push you out. You were stuck! I was asking the doctor, "how is he stuck, I do not understand." He explained to me that your head and one shoulder had emeraged, and that your opposite shoulder was inside because your hand was out. They were trying to ease the hand back in, to free up the elbow, so your shoulder could come. Unbeknowest to me they had decided to break your collar bone to allow you out. I began to faint, and as I came too, I bore down with all my might and low and behold you came....all before they could break anything!!

I had a name pickout for you. I so believed you were a boy. Not that I could depend upon my inner feelings to any great degree, because I had believed Roxi to be a boy and I even made all her blankets myself. The stores did not have nice little boys ones. I had blankets with trucks and cars. I had blankets with planes and trains....(you get the picture). Roxann never suffered from all the boys stuff I had made,because with your first baby everyone buys you tons of gifts and we had lots and lots of girley pinks.

Here I was Easter morning, holding this wee baby boy with dark hair...DARK HAIR!! Oh No. I had the name Samual picked out for my blond haired son. I now had no name for this little guy. At that time, your daddy was brought into the recovery room where I was TRYING to nurse you. You wanted nothing to do with eating, you were worn out from the long trip. Daddy held you in his arms. He began to thank God. He started praying, and his joy filled the room. You middle name was never a guess. I knew that my first born son would carry his daddy's name. Here we were with our little Easter Lamb, me 20 and Daddy 24, we had a little girl who was only 14 months old and we became the million dollar family.

It was three more days before you received your named. Daniel Mark Andrew Standring. We were proud at how nice it was. Since Roxann had four names, Roxann Patricia Lynn Standring, we believed it to fit so perfect.
I need not have worried about your disinterest in nursing because for the next three and a half years it was your source of nutriation. You were often sick as a baby, but you were one of the most peacefully little fellows ever. Your personallity grew we saw that you were very caring and kind, even as a toddler. You had a mischievious side for sure. You could tease your siblings to tears. You thought of many cunning sceams, ways to make money. You had a smile that would melt your parents heart. You and your sister formed a friendship in those baby years that lasted. You always loved your new siblings. When I told you(3 times more) that we were going to have a baby, no one in the family was happier then you. I still marvel at how much joy that brought you. When Joe was born we told you he was YOUR baby. We gave Isaac to Joe. When Heidi was born, Isaac was too little to enjoy being given a baby .....But Roxann had waited for a sister for 7 years and took the job with heart.

As you can see Daniel, this being your birthday, has rekindled my memories of my beginning with you. Here you are half way across the world. I cannot come to you this day and hug you and kiss you and whisper the words into your ear..."I love you so much my son".

So I offer you this writing, this little peice of my heart. I am very proud of you and there is very little I would change about you...if anything really. I was told you would never live long, and each birthday that goes by, I feel kind of smug!! 31 is a good slice of life, if you ask me.

I want to come to China when you return. I am making it one of my goals for 2010/2011. Enjoy your day son, and remember that way across the otherside of this planet, is a mother who is sending all her memories, all her kisses , all her hugs and all her love to her boy...Daniel Mark Andrew Standring...on his 31st birthday!

God Bless You Mommy